The Social Mirror

Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behaviours and label ourselves as being objective.

This significantly limits our personal potential and our ability to relate to others as well. –Stephen R. Covey

“What do you think of his attitude?”
“He’s really unreasonable and biased.”
“I think he is able to different between the right and wrong.”
“I thought that was tautological? Are you dumb or deaf?”

Look at the above quotes which I have come across in my life. More often or not, many are subservient to the paradigms of people around us.

People who usually say such things do not consider it before they blurt it out. They project the foibles of people rather than accurately reflecting our true character.

Many a times, we stick to the first impression we have of the individual the very first time we see them. That is because we simply have no other point of reference or benchmark to refer to. Worst still, we are so inclined to the first impression that we remain adamant about the things he do that comes into conflict with the first impression we have of him. Conversely, if his actions complement the first impression we have of him, we will immediately rejoice and celebrate. “Told ya, I am right!” That will be one common exclamation that most of us will make.

We are often so relentless in our judgement. It actually made us oblivious to the happenings around us. We judge too quickly. How can we judge a person based on a couple of impressions. We too have the propensity to condemn them when they falter. Maybe, we should take one step back sometimes and reflect deeply. Have you ever been disappointed with your friends whom you know for so long and whom you thought you knew them inside out? If we can even misjudge someone we trusted so much, how sure can we be that the first few impressions and a few mistakes committed are sufficient for us to accurately judge someone’s character?

-medicineworld.org

But, have you ever wondered why we never admit to our mistakes? As brought forward by Stephen, there are actually three social maps, 3 theories of determinism widely accepted to explain the nature of man. They are namely genetic determinism, psychic determinism and environmental determinism.

Genetic determinism basically says that your demeanour and character are determined by your grandparents and that it’s in the DNA. You can simply do nothing about it other than resigning to your “fate.”

-pilotinternational.org

Psychic determinism basically says that your behaviour and attitude are merely a by product of your parents’ actions and teachings. Basically, monkey see, monkey do. This group of people tend to shuffle all the blame to their upbringing. Let’s discuss this point of view. Am I right to say that it could be that this group of people believe that why should I change when my parents have achieved such spectacular results with those attitudes. They may be proud but they have all the right to be so haughty as they are truly smart. Is it true that they are very vulnerable and they are afraid of moving out on their own? They feel more secure and safe within their own comfort zone with their parents’ teachings as a concrete backup to any mistakes. Otherwise, they will be exposed to bombardments and they will have no place to hide. There is psychic determinism a result of insecurity?

-sweden.se
Thirdly, environmental determinism, it says that you are behaving like these because you were shaped by the policies, schools and your boss. They force you to acquiesce to authority. The competitive environment of a top school you are in pressured you to being ruthless and selfish because that’s the way everyone haves. Survival of the fittest is a clear-cut notion everywhere. If you were to go soft, you will either be exploited or obliterated by the rest. I have seen many examples and evidences of a nice person being trampled upon. There, I should not behave in accordance to my principle as it simply isn’t feasible at all. So, after we have seen the 3 types of determinism theories. Which category do you think you fall under? For most of us, I’m pretty sure we are guilty of falling back onto environmental determinism. “It’s the place, it’s the air here.” The people are simple obnoxious, I have to do this to beat them.” In fact, once these statements are thrown out, you have already been beaten. You lost. You lost to the people that have forced you to change, you were influenced and now you are acting alongside them. Before you refute, take a minute to think. What did you do to them? And why did you do that? Now, are you feeling remorseful? Do you still think it was the environment that was at fault? Or rather, was it just your own will to act, your own discernments that have manipulated you?