However, it is disdainful to find out that in the past 50 years of literature, Personality Ethics are actually dominating over Character Ethic.
“Success became more of a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes & behaviours, skills and techniques that lubricate the processes of human interaction.”
-Stephen R. Covey
This couldn’t have more palpable in our everyday life. Rather than greeting someone with good intention, many tend to stick close to everyone, especially with the bosses and executives. In the blind search for authority and power, majority of the people are resorting to ruses and collusions. In turn, everyone becomes wary of each other.
Personality ethic is clearly manipulative in nature. We concert strategies just to plot against each other. Relationships are merely a means to the establishment of a wide network. Subordinates are no more than stepping stones to success.
In the business world, many put on a façade when treating people. They often have the ulterior motive to make use of people for personal gains. They intoxicate minds to bring people into their fortress. Spurious information is being spread to bring about the demise of their enemies. All these are pervasive in most offices. However, at the end of the day, there will come a time where it will be your turn to fall. Afterall what comes around goes around. If you concur with your colleagues wrongdoings (i.e. betrayal of another colleague or sabotaging), what makes you think that you will be spared from all these in the future to come? Perhaps, you will not be the target now, but that could be because you are still on good terms with him, or you are of some worth to him. What if, one day, you get involved in a conflict with him? Will he turn his back against you in a moment of fury? How sure are? Such people can be nefarious when they are angry.
On a more personal level, we tend to succumb to the personality ethic during our engagements with our friends too. “Come on, hit it!” You can do it.” “Awww, don’t worry about it, we don’t blame you. I’m sure you will be able to do better the next time.” What if you fail again the next time? I’m pretty sure that they will regurgitate the “comforting encouragements”. Unknowingly, this group of people are actually telling the individual that “you are disappointing. You had better not fail again. You are incapable. I thought you could do it but apparently I overestimated you.
These are actually the ideas which the individuals are receiving. Look back at yourself instead. When you receive these comments, were you put at ease? Did you feel assured? Did their encouragements penetrate into you? Or were you constantly repelling them away unconsciously? You could sense that they are sincere, but someone you weren’t motivated a single bit at all.
Now stop for a moment. I’m sure you thought these weren’t criticisms to begin with. I’m sure you had good intentions to begin with. But I’m quite sure nothing you do seem to help. The prime reason for this enigmatic scenario is that what we were doing to help was not in harmony with the way we really saw them. In actually fact, we thought they were merely weaker than the mainstream that they are lagging behind the rest. We acknowledge the fact deep within us that we had way higher expectations of them and that they failed us. What’s wrong with not meeting the timings? What’s wrong with failing to hit the ball? What’s wrong with not winning, so long as we all had fun? In order to encourage effectively, it is crucial to change our perception before we can change ourselves. We have to identify the way we are actually seeing our friends, did our encouragements match up with how we see them? Or were they in total conflict? Friends can sense it clearly as much as they try to stop themselves from believing that you are belittling them.
“Success became more of a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes & behaviours, skills and techniques that lubricate the processes of human interaction.”
-Stephen R. Covey
This couldn’t have more palpable in our everyday life. Rather than greeting someone with good intention, many tend to stick close to everyone, especially with the bosses and executives. In the blind search for authority and power, majority of the people are resorting to ruses and collusions. In turn, everyone becomes wary of each other.
Personality ethic is clearly manipulative in nature. We concert strategies just to plot against each other. Relationships are merely a means to the establishment of a wide network. Subordinates are no more than stepping stones to success.
In the business world, many put on a façade when treating people. They often have the ulterior motive to make use of people for personal gains. They intoxicate minds to bring people into their fortress. Spurious information is being spread to bring about the demise of their enemies. All these are pervasive in most offices. However, at the end of the day, there will come a time where it will be your turn to fall. Afterall what comes around goes around. If you concur with your colleagues wrongdoings (i.e. betrayal of another colleague or sabotaging), what makes you think that you will be spared from all these in the future to come? Perhaps, you will not be the target now, but that could be because you are still on good terms with him, or you are of some worth to him. What if, one day, you get involved in a conflict with him? Will he turn his back against you in a moment of fury? How sure are? Such people can be nefarious when they are angry.
On a more personal level, we tend to succumb to the personality ethic during our engagements with our friends too. “Come on, hit it!” You can do it.” “Awww, don’t worry about it, we don’t blame you. I’m sure you will be able to do better the next time.” What if you fail again the next time? I’m pretty sure that they will regurgitate the “comforting encouragements”. Unknowingly, this group of people are actually telling the individual that “you are disappointing. You had better not fail again. You are incapable. I thought you could do it but apparently I overestimated you.
These are actually the ideas which the individuals are receiving. Look back at yourself instead. When you receive these comments, were you put at ease? Did you feel assured? Did their encouragements penetrate into you? Or were you constantly repelling them away unconsciously? You could sense that they are sincere, but someone you weren’t motivated a single bit at all.
Now stop for a moment. I’m sure you thought these weren’t criticisms to begin with. I’m sure you had good intentions to begin with. But I’m quite sure nothing you do seem to help. The prime reason for this enigmatic scenario is that what we were doing to help was not in harmony with the way we really saw them. In actually fact, we thought they were merely weaker than the mainstream that they are lagging behind the rest. We acknowledge the fact deep within us that we had way higher expectations of them and that they failed us. What’s wrong with not meeting the timings? What’s wrong with failing to hit the ball? What’s wrong with not winning, so long as we all had fun? In order to encourage effectively, it is crucial to change our perception before we can change ourselves. We have to identify the way we are actually seeing our friends, did our encouragements match up with how we see them? Or were they in total conflict? Friends can sense it clearly as much as they try to stop themselves from believing that you are belittling them.
This is absolutely wonderful post regarding personality and character ethics. Find More at
ReplyDelete