Saturday, August 15, 2009
Introduction
This blog revolves around perplexing yet intriguing issues in business. It covers a wide range of topics which includes Management, Tourism, Marketing, Electronic Gadgets, Business Devices and Help, Banking and Finance and the latest business news.
In the case of management, tourism and marketing topics, I will tend to put across theories. On top of that, I will discuss them based on my personal views along with the views of authors of other books I have read, which I might find pertinent to the theory per se. On most occasions, I have the propensity to discuss about the book which I’m currently reading for several consecutive posts. Nonetheless, I will try to post intriguing news in between these posts to relieve you of the boredom that might arise from the trite theories in my posts.
Also, I will tend to bring up issues pertaining to self-improvement of one. It involves discussions in the personalities of people and their behaviour alongside their reaction to a specific stimulus. For instance, why is it so hard to change a person’s perception and his ideals? Also, why is the compromising a no-no in relationships and how does it hurt you in the long-run? Of course, there are bound to be a bountiful of opinions on these issues so I hope that no one will be sardonic about any opinions as they are all made up of paradigms of people from all walks of life. That explains why different people feel different about various opinions.
Furthermore, I tend to inject some levity into my posts with reference to my personal experience in order to support the point that either me or the writer made. I trust that this will better allow the readers to comprehend and understand the idea. In the process, it could also trigger your own personal experience and you are free to comment on it as well.
There will be sporadic cases where I tend to be away for work or overseas trips. Other than that, I will put in my utmost efforts to post consistently to satisfy your needs for juicy business news. I will ensure that this will not be yet another moribund blog on blogspot.
Last but not least, I hope that you will support my foray into blogging with your poignant opinions and criticisms as I will deeply appreciate each and every one of your comments with an open mind. Your contributions are definitely pivotal to the success of this blog, in terms of its effectiveness. In retrospect, I hope you can look back on your own comments one month later and see how much you have learned and gotten out of the discussions.
That is all I have to share about my blog. So I sincerely hope that you will enjoy my posts!
In the case of management, tourism and marketing topics, I will tend to put across theories. On top of that, I will discuss them based on my personal views along with the views of authors of other books I have read, which I might find pertinent to the theory per se. On most occasions, I have the propensity to discuss about the book which I’m currently reading for several consecutive posts. Nonetheless, I will try to post intriguing news in between these posts to relieve you of the boredom that might arise from the trite theories in my posts.
Also, I will tend to bring up issues pertaining to self-improvement of one. It involves discussions in the personalities of people and their behaviour alongside their reaction to a specific stimulus. For instance, why is it so hard to change a person’s perception and his ideals? Also, why is the compromising a no-no in relationships and how does it hurt you in the long-run? Of course, there are bound to be a bountiful of opinions on these issues so I hope that no one will be sardonic about any opinions as they are all made up of paradigms of people from all walks of life. That explains why different people feel different about various opinions.
Furthermore, I tend to inject some levity into my posts with reference to my personal experience in order to support the point that either me or the writer made. I trust that this will better allow the readers to comprehend and understand the idea. In the process, it could also trigger your own personal experience and you are free to comment on it as well.
There will be sporadic cases where I tend to be away for work or overseas trips. Other than that, I will put in my utmost efforts to post consistently to satisfy your needs for juicy business news. I will ensure that this will not be yet another moribund blog on blogspot.
Last but not least, I hope that you will support my foray into blogging with your poignant opinions and criticisms as I will deeply appreciate each and every one of your comments with an open mind. Your contributions are definitely pivotal to the success of this blog, in terms of its effectiveness. In retrospect, I hope you can look back on your own comments one month later and see how much you have learned and gotten out of the discussions.
That is all I have to share about my blog. So I sincerely hope that you will enjoy my posts!
When retailers cut off distribution to the customer in the store
-www.integrabank.com
When retailers cut off distribution to the customer in the store, brand name manufacturers like P&G are forced to become more creative in order to form a new relationship with the customers that are impenetrable from all external influences, many are adamant about the persuasive advertisements flooding them. For instance, the rise of competitors. Levi’s and Sony made use of retailers like Wal Mart, Courts, Giant to bring their product to the consumers. However, if these retailers were to set up their own brand, they will definitely prioritise the sales of the brands they own before others. Therefore, a heavy reliance on wholesalers, retailers is actually unhealthy. The level of assurance is just not enough to sustain you throughout the entire course of the product’s life cycle. These retailers adopt the idea of the goods they once sold and create their own label similar to those famous ones. They are often on par or even better than the ones they used to sell because they understood the essence of the product they sold. They are the true customers we are talking about until now. A quality that is on par yet of a lower price is no doubt far better than that of the famous one. They had the opportunity to save costs on advertising & product development through research and development.
We can see that original brands are trying to reach the customers directly through their own concept stores. A store packed with Adidas bags, shoes, clothes, games and balls seem so much more attractive and enticing as compared to a gargantuan retail store that has adidas products in that small corner of the shop, i.e. Sports House. There are way too many brands in the entire retail store, the location, positioning and highlights of various brands confuses the consumer. They then based their choices on the shoes that catch their eye rather than a product that clearly offer superior customer value in price, design and comfort. However, if perpetual advertising is not done, no one will take note of it.
These brands that set up their own stores focus on building brands that in the long-run can boost sales throughout the entire retail chain. Nonetheless, recognition is insufficient today. Remember the point about integrating the 4Ps into the marketing plan? It is of paramount importance to integrate the 4Ps nicely into the target market. If you lose out in price, work on non-price competition, in today’s qualitative society it is easy to get the consumers if you understand them. There is a reason why people spent hundreds to thousands for a haircut over an $8 haircut at the corner of the neighbourhood. That is because they know that the money spent is for the purpose of achieving their goals, of becoming a superstar, gaining social status & envy-looking faces. All these benefits are intangible and not easily purchased with a mere $8.
When retailers cut off distribution to the customer in the store, brand name manufacturers like P&G are forced to become more creative in order to form a new relationship with the customers that are impenetrable from all external influences, many are adamant about the persuasive advertisements flooding them. For instance, the rise of competitors. Levi’s and Sony made use of retailers like Wal Mart, Courts, Giant to bring their product to the consumers. However, if these retailers were to set up their own brand, they will definitely prioritise the sales of the brands they own before others. Therefore, a heavy reliance on wholesalers, retailers is actually unhealthy. The level of assurance is just not enough to sustain you throughout the entire course of the product’s life cycle. These retailers adopt the idea of the goods they once sold and create their own label similar to those famous ones. They are often on par or even better than the ones they used to sell because they understood the essence of the product they sold. They are the true customers we are talking about until now. A quality that is on par yet of a lower price is no doubt far better than that of the famous one. They had the opportunity to save costs on advertising & product development through research and development.
We can see that original brands are trying to reach the customers directly through their own concept stores. A store packed with Adidas bags, shoes, clothes, games and balls seem so much more attractive and enticing as compared to a gargantuan retail store that has adidas products in that small corner of the shop, i.e. Sports House. There are way too many brands in the entire retail store, the location, positioning and highlights of various brands confuses the consumer. They then based their choices on the shoes that catch their eye rather than a product that clearly offer superior customer value in price, design and comfort. However, if perpetual advertising is not done, no one will take note of it.
These brands that set up their own stores focus on building brands that in the long-run can boost sales throughout the entire retail chain. Nonetheless, recognition is insufficient today. Remember the point about integrating the 4Ps into the marketing plan? It is of paramount importance to integrate the 4Ps nicely into the target market. If you lose out in price, work on non-price competition, in today’s qualitative society it is easy to get the consumers if you understand them. There is a reason why people spent hundreds to thousands for a haircut over an $8 haircut at the corner of the neighbourhood. That is because they know that the money spent is for the purpose of achieving their goals, of becoming a superstar, gaining social status & envy-looking faces. All these benefits are intangible and not easily purchased with a mere $8.
Friday, August 14, 2009
P/PC Balance
BuddyBradley flickr.com
True effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset(the goose). If you focus on the eggs, you will soon lose the asset producing them, the goose. Conversely, if you take care of the goose, you will get the eggs naturally. Effectiveness lies in the balance – what I call the P/PC balance. P stands for production and PC for production capability. Short term goals and returns, ill-treating of employees, used colleagues as stepping stones, cutting cost to improve profits at the expense of good services. The above mentioned are extremely common in our world today. Many are often infatuated with good results and thus they tend to neglect the people or things that bring about these great results. They took them for granted. Over the long run, these people and things fail them, sales and profits plummeted. All these are just corollaries of the bosses’ own doings. These problems usually start when there is a breach of trust and understanding. When you are too obsessed with the golden eggs, you have the propensity to use unorthodox means to achieve your goals. In business, this is especially prominent and prevalent.
True effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset(the goose). If you focus on the eggs, you will soon lose the asset producing them, the goose. Conversely, if you take care of the goose, you will get the eggs naturally. Effectiveness lies in the balance – what I call the P/PC balance. P stands for production and PC for production capability. Short term goals and returns, ill-treating of employees, used colleagues as stepping stones, cutting cost to improve profits at the expense of good services. The above mentioned are extremely common in our world today. Many are often infatuated with good results and thus they tend to neglect the people or things that bring about these great results. They took them for granted. Over the long run, these people and things fail them, sales and profits plummeted. All these are just corollaries of the bosses’ own doings. These problems usually start when there is a breach of trust and understanding. When you are too obsessed with the golden eggs, you have the propensity to use unorthodox means to achieve your goals. In business, this is especially prominent and prevalent.
To illustrate the idea, I will use one of my own experiences again. In the past, I used to frequent a restaurant called T (actual name not used to prevent infringement of rights). They had impeccable services, renowned saccharine desserts and considerably large portions of main courses. Every time the waiter sees us feeling bored, she will walk over and tell us about the changes made by the restaurant. Once, she told us about her concerns regarding the restructuring as the company wanted to cut costs. And not long later, she was actually fired. On hearing the news, I was both shocked and appalled. How could they actually cut costs at the expense of good service? As anticipated, they continued to carry out the execution of the restructuring, the restaurant was renovated but the number of stuff dropped significantly and the quality of the food fell too. Our displeasure was further exacerbated by the slow services and the waitress end up forgetting and mixing up our orders because there were simply too many people. They apologised profusely timelessly but it had a irreparable damage on our confidence level which we used to have of them. We lost all faith as both the quality of the food and services dropped. No doubt the new restaurants look exquisite and exhibits opulence; it was just not enough to keep us coming for more.
Day by day, the business of the restaurant dropped as an increasing number of customers were aghast with the changes made. The essence of the business (large portions of high quality food coupled with impeccable services) was vanishing away. People lost the reason to continue patronising the restaurant.
Based on my observations, I strongly suspect that the boss’s strategy was to provide a more unique dining environment for the diners, which is perfectly understandable. However, it could be because he was short of funds to support the change which explains why he resorted to the firing of staffs and the reduction of portions served. It sounds perfectly reasonable but in fact he could be desperately finding means to recuperate the cost used to renovate the restaurants. He did not notice that the service and the quality of the food was what keep the customers coming over and over again. If there were really mindful about the environment, they would have gone to other restaurants.
Sometimes, we are deluded into grabbing the golden eggs as fast as possible. We soon forget that we have actually neglected the people that brought to us the eggs. Look back at yourself and reflect for a few minutes. Identify the gains you have made recently, for instance, your promotion, your great sales results, your clean room or even your satisfied outing. Have you worked with your subordinates so hard just to get your promotion? Did you enquire about their health status? Did you remunerate your employees for the help they provided or did you think that they were obligated to help you in the first place? How about the immaculate room that is packed and cleaned by your maid or mum? Did you thank her sincerely or did you think that it was her job and besides it wasn’t exactly spotless. How about the outing that brought you so much joy? Have you considered that some of the people at the outing were compromising in their own ways to make you happy? One very good example is the day which your birthday falls on. How many actually gave in and put in so much effort to plan the celebration? Have you shown your appreciation or have you took all these for granted?
Reflect
Day by day, the business of the restaurant dropped as an increasing number of customers were aghast with the changes made. The essence of the business (large portions of high quality food coupled with impeccable services) was vanishing away. People lost the reason to continue patronising the restaurant.
Based on my observations, I strongly suspect that the boss’s strategy was to provide a more unique dining environment for the diners, which is perfectly understandable. However, it could be because he was short of funds to support the change which explains why he resorted to the firing of staffs and the reduction of portions served. It sounds perfectly reasonable but in fact he could be desperately finding means to recuperate the cost used to renovate the restaurants. He did not notice that the service and the quality of the food was what keep the customers coming over and over again. If there were really mindful about the environment, they would have gone to other restaurants.
Sometimes, we are deluded into grabbing the golden eggs as fast as possible. We soon forget that we have actually neglected the people that brought to us the eggs. Look back at yourself and reflect for a few minutes. Identify the gains you have made recently, for instance, your promotion, your great sales results, your clean room or even your satisfied outing. Have you worked with your subordinates so hard just to get your promotion? Did you enquire about their health status? Did you remunerate your employees for the help they provided or did you think that they were obligated to help you in the first place? How about the immaculate room that is packed and cleaned by your maid or mum? Did you thank her sincerely or did you think that it was her job and besides it wasn’t exactly spotless. How about the outing that brought you so much joy? Have you considered that some of the people at the outing were compromising in their own ways to make you happy? One very good example is the day which your birthday falls on. How many actually gave in and put in so much effort to plan the celebration? Have you shown your appreciation or have you took all these for granted?
Reflect
iPhone market share grew 375% in Q2
Sales of Nokia's (NOK) Symbian smartphones are drifting. Apple's (AAPL) iPhone is gaining on RIM's (RIMM) BlackBerry. Microsoft's (MSFT) Windows Mobile is still sinking. And the launch of the Palm (PALM) Pre barely made a ripple in the gobal smartphone market. Those were the headlines from the smartphone portion of Gartner's 2009 Q2 mobile phone report, which saw smartphone sales grow 27% even as overall mobile phone sales, feeling recessionary pressure, fell 6%.
In this context, Apple was the clear winner. Its iPhone sales, as Gartner counts them, grew more than 500% year to year, and its market share, as we figure it, grew 375%. (See chart below the fold.)
In this context, Apple was the clear winner. Its iPhone sales, as Gartner counts them, grew more than 500% year to year, and its market share, as we figure it, grew 375%. (See chart below the fold.)
"Apple's expansion into a larger number of countries in the past year has produced a clear effect on sales volumes, as have the recent price adjustments on the 8GB 3G iPhone," according to Gartner's press release. "Apple brought its much-anticipated new device — the iPhone 3G S — to market at the end of the second quarter of 2009, but its full potential will only start to show in the sales figures in the second half of 2009." Gartner made note of the declining market shares of Symbian and Windows Mobile, but it expressed particular concern about the Palm Pre. "This device attracted a lot of media attention but showed mixed results at the cash register as sales only reached 205,000 units," said Gartner principal analyst Roberta Cozza. "Palm currently ranks tenth in the smartphone market and Gartner remains concerned about its ability to gain traction outside the US market, where its brand is less strong."
http://brainstormtech.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2009/08/13/iphone-market-share-grew-375-in-q2/?section=money_topstories
http://brainstormtech.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2009/08/13/iphone-market-share-grew-375-in-q2/?section=money_topstories
Vita audio R2i
Vita audio R2i
Every room in the newly refurbished Savoy hotel will be kitted out with one of these, and not just because they look so stylish: these little boxes produce a big, deep sound that will fill a suite. The iPod dock lets you play your own tunes, too, and Vita’s distinctive circular buttons make controlling the DAB radio easy.
Price: £280 (vitaaudio.com).
Microsoft goes to war with Apple with new Zune HD digital music player
Check out this cool gadget.
It's Microsoft's very own Zune HD.
Microsoft hopes the Zune HD, where users will be able to stream and download music from its Zune Marketplace, will make a dent in Apple’s dominance of the personal media player market.
-www.telegraph.co.uk
With its sleek design and cool layout, it definitely stands a great chance against Apple's Ipod. It has a slim figure along with a chic touch screen.
It comes up to around US$219.99 for a 16GB version which usually contains up to 4,000 songs. However, they are not intending to expand the sales beyond US for now. So guys, you will have to wait patiently for now.
In addition to that, it has its very own wifi connection too, so for those 3G-savvy warriors out there, this gadget might just shine its way through into your collection.
"The Zune experience is growing beyond a music player in the United States,” Chris Stephenson, a senior executive at Microsoft said in May.
Stay tune for more revolutionary products which Zune is coming up with later in the year.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Scipting individuals
One of the classic stories in the field of self-fulfilling prophecies is of a computer in England that was accidentally programmed incorrectly. Basically, it labeled a class of "bright" kids dumb and a class of "dumb" kids bright.
Needless to say, the teachers' paradigm of the students were determined based on the data shown. At the end of the day, the class of "bright" kids suffered a drop in IQ whereas the class of "dumb" kids became more diligent and smarter.
The above scenario must have been familiar to you. I'm sure you can remember how the teachers perceive the bright students as the future leaders and the dumb ones as the future subordinates. When faced with "dumb" students, most of the teachers have already set a limit for them, a limit which says that they can never be better than the "bright" students. They see them as uncooperative kids and people who have a low learning capacity.
However, when they meet up with the "bright" students, they immediately raised the bar high. They were determined to unleash their potential and bring them to the next level. They trust that they will succeed in life eventually.
Does this means that the "dumb" students have no potential? Are they truly lazy? Or is it because the teachers feel that they have no potential and they can only move so far in life. Unconsciously, the vulnerable students, who are chronically exposed to these criticisms, tell themselves that maybe the teachers are right. I am really not cut out for this subject and like what the teachers said, the results justify my incapability.
After a while, the teachers' paradigm is imposed upon the student. Unconsciously, the student is beguiled by the teacher's assessment of him and slowly he sinks. As the prophecy is fufilled, the students gave up. More teachers come along with similar paradigms and further reinforced that he is truly dumb.
The above scenario is also very common in the business world. Many are chasing after paper qualifications to pursue an executive position in top institutions. Those who failed are deemed less capable and that they should work like a bull for those who succeeded. However, in actual fact, the employees could easily surpass the manager's capability. How many of the top executive managers actually bother to interview those with lower qualifications for top positions? In fact, they will not hesitate to siphon them out. They would choose to interview people with PHD for the respective roles because they are affirmed by the fact that all PHD holders possess an incandescent wit. However, did they realize that they might have forgotten the criteria that truly mark a great leader? Have they considered the emotional, mental, and social capabilities of the candidate? Or did they assume that all PHD holders are sociable, understanding and great visualizers?
Goethe taught,"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is." This applies to how he will remain as he is in your perspective. Let me share with you an experience of mine.
A few years ago, I met a guy named Christ. He was newly posted into my campus from New Zealand. Desperate to find out more about him, I went to consult some of my friends to enquire about him. They told me that Christ is sagacious but deceitful. At that point in time, I immediately developed a new paradigm I have of him. I thought he is really smart as seen from his astute analysis of every presentations. However, I felt that he was insincere in nature based on my prior knowledge of him from my friends who barely knew him.
One day, he approached me and asked me about my family and future goals in life. Immediately, I thought he wanted to recruit me into his network. In the end, I put him off with a couple of sentences and went ahead on myself. On several other occasions, I saw him helping out a few of the juniors with their work after school, but once again, I told myself that he was just trynig to gain popularity. Paradigm shift are indeed hard to manipulate. As hard as I have tried to, I trusted my friends' assessment more than my own eyes. I judged him based on a mere critique of my friends'. Finally, I could resist no more. I went ahead and spoke to him one on one in an attempt to discern for myself what sort person he actually is. After a long conversation, I came to a new conclusion that he is the most sincere and helpful person I've ever met. He was in fact the one who initiated a programme to further help the weaker juniors. In addition, he wanted to build up his social network so that he could organise an outing for everyone to come together to broaden their own social network. He did all these to influence, not to be recognised. It was flagrant that he truly possesses a remarkably compassionate heart that put all above himself.
From that experience, I felt extremely remorseful for judging him right from the start. In retrospect, it was a wake-up call for me too, that I should never judge a person based on gossips or external sources. It takes time to really understand a person, you can't possibly understand him based on a few critiques or impressions of him. I understand that we often have the propensity to judge based on external sources and first impressions, however, we have to tell ourselves that we should never judge a book by its cover. As much as what I have said above sounds fanatical and ideal, we do mistakingly judged alot of people in our life, unconsciously and imperceptibly. Many were victims of our viscious judgemental character. Therefore, in order to prevent ourselves from discriminating more people, we should open our mind and look at people with a broader perspective rather than a parochial view that most of us now possess.
Needless to say, the teachers' paradigm of the students were determined based on the data shown. At the end of the day, the class of "bright" kids suffered a drop in IQ whereas the class of "dumb" kids became more diligent and smarter.
The above scenario must have been familiar to you. I'm sure you can remember how the teachers perceive the bright students as the future leaders and the dumb ones as the future subordinates. When faced with "dumb" students, most of the teachers have already set a limit for them, a limit which says that they can never be better than the "bright" students. They see them as uncooperative kids and people who have a low learning capacity.
However, when they meet up with the "bright" students, they immediately raised the bar high. They were determined to unleash their potential and bring them to the next level. They trust that they will succeed in life eventually.
Does this means that the "dumb" students have no potential? Are they truly lazy? Or is it because the teachers feel that they have no potential and they can only move so far in life. Unconsciously, the vulnerable students, who are chronically exposed to these criticisms, tell themselves that maybe the teachers are right. I am really not cut out for this subject and like what the teachers said, the results justify my incapability.
After a while, the teachers' paradigm is imposed upon the student. Unconsciously, the student is beguiled by the teacher's assessment of him and slowly he sinks. As the prophecy is fufilled, the students gave up. More teachers come along with similar paradigms and further reinforced that he is truly dumb.
The above scenario is also very common in the business world. Many are chasing after paper qualifications to pursue an executive position in top institutions. Those who failed are deemed less capable and that they should work like a bull for those who succeeded. However, in actual fact, the employees could easily surpass the manager's capability. How many of the top executive managers actually bother to interview those with lower qualifications for top positions? In fact, they will not hesitate to siphon them out. They would choose to interview people with PHD for the respective roles because they are affirmed by the fact that all PHD holders possess an incandescent wit. However, did they realize that they might have forgotten the criteria that truly mark a great leader? Have they considered the emotional, mental, and social capabilities of the candidate? Or did they assume that all PHD holders are sociable, understanding and great visualizers?
Goethe taught,"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is." This applies to how he will remain as he is in your perspective. Let me share with you an experience of mine.
A few years ago, I met a guy named Christ. He was newly posted into my campus from New Zealand. Desperate to find out more about him, I went to consult some of my friends to enquire about him. They told me that Christ is sagacious but deceitful. At that point in time, I immediately developed a new paradigm I have of him. I thought he is really smart as seen from his astute analysis of every presentations. However, I felt that he was insincere in nature based on my prior knowledge of him from my friends who barely knew him.
One day, he approached me and asked me about my family and future goals in life. Immediately, I thought he wanted to recruit me into his network. In the end, I put him off with a couple of sentences and went ahead on myself. On several other occasions, I saw him helping out a few of the juniors with their work after school, but once again, I told myself that he was just trynig to gain popularity. Paradigm shift are indeed hard to manipulate. As hard as I have tried to, I trusted my friends' assessment more than my own eyes. I judged him based on a mere critique of my friends'. Finally, I could resist no more. I went ahead and spoke to him one on one in an attempt to discern for myself what sort person he actually is. After a long conversation, I came to a new conclusion that he is the most sincere and helpful person I've ever met. He was in fact the one who initiated a programme to further help the weaker juniors. In addition, he wanted to build up his social network so that he could organise an outing for everyone to come together to broaden their own social network. He did all these to influence, not to be recognised. It was flagrant that he truly possesses a remarkably compassionate heart that put all above himself.
From that experience, I felt extremely remorseful for judging him right from the start. In retrospect, it was a wake-up call for me too, that I should never judge a person based on gossips or external sources. It takes time to really understand a person, you can't possibly understand him based on a few critiques or impressions of him. I understand that we often have the propensity to judge based on external sources and first impressions, however, we have to tell ourselves that we should never judge a book by its cover. As much as what I have said above sounds fanatical and ideal, we do mistakingly judged alot of people in our life, unconsciously and imperceptibly. Many were victims of our viscious judgemental character. Therefore, in order to prevent ourselves from discriminating more people, we should open our mind and look at people with a broader perspective rather than a parochial view that most of us now possess.
Emotional Bank Account
ONe of the very good analogy which i came across of trust is none other than Stephen R. Covey's Emotional Bank Account.
In short, you make deposits into the account with another party through kindness, loyalty, help and the keeping of promise. Conversely, you make withdrawals from it if you break promises, exhibit rude behaviours or come into conflict with another party. The amount of deposits and withdrawls vary from party to party.
Let me share with you a little about my persoanl emotional bank account with my best friend and also another with another an acquaintance of mine.
Let me start with the one with my best friend. He is none other than Justin. We have been friends for around 8 years now, since Secondary One. He is truly one friend that I treasure alot because of all the commitments and sacrifices he made for this friendship. One many occasions, whenever I need to get some Information Technology tips, he never fails to step forward to lend me a helping hand no matter how busy he was. Also, on many occasions, he will accompany me at the bus-stop until my bus was here before he made a move. In addition, he has always been sharing with me some of his deepest concerns in life, for instance about love,family and friendship. We share with each other our respective foibles and strengths & weaknesses from time to time. This has truly helped strengthened our friendship. All of the above mentioned have made deposits of various degrees into the emotional bank account. They might seem trivial but it is the minutia in life that makes it extraordinary. The fanatical consistency at which he keeps the above mentioned actions going is unbelievable.
Nonetheless, there is of course some withdrawls made during the course of this friendship. For instance, we do revile each other at times over certain perplexing work issues. At times, whhen we are organising an outing, we seldom search for a third alternative, instead, we argue and both of us may refuse to compromise. Sometimes our conflicts were exacerbated by our bad moods, our friends' comments and other external influences.
But, all in all, these withdrawals were of a very low frequency as compared to the deposits. In retrospect, our friendship has come a long way and layers of trust have already piled upon one another. It is very concrete. Nonetheless, I will not deny that the amount of withdrawal made during a conflict has always exceeded the amount of deposit made as a commitment is executed. However, as compared to the accumulated amount of deposits made due to its fanatical consistency, the total amount of withdrawals were diminutive.
Let me now share with you another experience of mine with an acquaintance. Starting with the deposits, he has managed to understand the need to apologise whenever he has committed the mistake. In addition, he tries to ignite a spark in our conversation by talking about issues pertaining to my interests.
Such small little actions are indeed deeply appreciated.
Here comes the withdrawal part. The number of apologies made surmounted to more than a few hundred times(yes that many). By chronically making apologies, it makes me suspicious of the genuity of each one. It makes me wary of his frivolous conduct after a while. Just when I thought he realised his mistakes when he made an apology, he repeats the same mistake again within the next few weeks. Furthermore, he seemed impervious to reasoning, whenever I tried to help him with it. Just when I wanted to give up on this friendship, he will come along, trying to pacify me by apologising once again. Initially, I capitlated. Howeverm over a period of time, I found it strenuous to maintain the friendship as he is too embedded iin the idea that apologizing is a panacea. Hence, I confronted him and I tol him that our friendship could not be perennial and that it is time to put an end to it.
-http://graphicleftovers.com/images/member/1382/roots.jpg
I am sure that many of you can relate to experiences like those mentioned above. This is not to say that you should give up a relationship or friendship when the total amount of withdrawals exceed the total amount of deposits. Deficits can actually be recuperated if both parties are willing to understand the problems and talk about the possible 3rd alternative. No doubt it is going to be an onerous process, it is definitely worthwhile & synergistic if a great solution is brought about. Therefore, try to understand their paradigm from teh start before any misunderstanding sets in. Attack the roots(the cause of the problem and their concerns), not the leaves(the problems).
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Level 5 Listening
Habit 5 - Seek first to understand, then to be understand By Stephen R. Covey
"Oh, I know exactly how you feel!"
"Let me tell you about this instead."
"Bullshit! You are just covering his ass, he's obviously slacking!"
"You won't understand"
How often do you actually hear similar lines like those mentioned above ? How often do you feel as though someone is dominating conversation which you initiated with the intent to share your personal experience ? Many are constantly overwriting the speaker's personal experience with their own. But, in actual fact, they have no idea what was really going on.
Now, look back at some of your recent conversations and compare it with some of the examples and personal experience of mine. Then, see if you can see your shadow in them. Have you been unconsciously committing these mistakes as well ?
Let's start off with ignoring (Level 1 Listening). The easiest way to know if someone is ignoring you is by looking into his eyes and at his body language. When he is ignoring you, he is probably looking around or in a daze. At the same time, he could be moving about or playing with his shirt or shoes. This is level 1 listening, which most of us are aware of committing. This is especially common when they are listening to someone they have great odium for.
Level 2 Listening - pretending. This group of people usually looked like they are paying attention, however, they were actually diverting their attention to something else, something more enticing to them. Let me draw up one of my personal experience to illustrate this idea.
One day, I was telling Joyce about my trip to Hong Kong, the places I had been to and the stuff i bought, and mid way, John who was sitting next to me interrupted and started to share with the rest his trip to New York where he met the starts of "Harry Potter". Despite his interruption, I continued on talking about my endeavor in HK, and I thought Joyce was still with me because she was apparently nodding and smiling at me throughout. Within the next few seconds, she opened her mouth and said, "So what did Emma Watson say? Was Daniel Radcliffe present? ". At that point in time, I was appalled and disappointed at the same time. After all this while, she was not even listening to me at all. All along, she had already diverted her attention to John the minute he interrupted me. From this experience, I realized that nodding and smiling may not be approval of what you said, rather, it could just be a facade to mask the listener's diverted attention. There, I suggest prompting them & pausing to make sure that your listener is still with you, he/she might be interested after a while and you should end the conversation if you see her yawning or looking away before it leads to further uneasiness.
Level 3 listening is known as selective listening, many of us usually do this when the conversation is too long and we tend to ask questions about certain facets of the conversation. For the remaining part of it, we merely listening and forget. We only hear what we want to know and for the rest of it, we will naturally filter it off. The easiest way to test it out is to ask the listener about the conversation the next day and you will then roughly discover what he took away with him.
Level 4 listening is attentive listening. I'm suer that many of you can actually relate to this form of listening when you focus all your attention onto the speaker. However here comes the tricky part, we often listen and rebutt with what we feel rather that what we think you are feeling about the issue. Many do not actually listen to understand, they listen to your arguments but deep inside they never did waiver on their own stand. No matter how you try to state your concerns, they will remain adamant to it. Once you stop, they will immediately jump in and drown you with their own autobiography. In addition, they don't really understand the point you are actually bringing across, it almost seems arcane to them, something they can't comprehend or relate to.
One example is when I was complaining about a friend of mine, Johnny. I told another friend of mine, Tiffany if I should confront Johnny about the incident where he castigated all of his subordinates for reporting to work late. i told her that the truth is that they were all held up by a major traffic jam down the street due to a chain of accidents. To my dismay, she told me that I should not bother myself with such a trivial issue because Johnny will never accept that kind of reason and he has always been bad tempered to begin with. I disagreed, I tried to reason with her by saying that the incident could have diminished their trust for Johnny because he just won't listen, if this persist, their working relationships will be strained and both parties will lose. But, once again, she rebutted by saying that Johnny will be impervious to such agreements. From then, I knew that Tiffany is obviously missing my point. She was obviously too concerned with Johnny's attitude. I see no point in seeking her opinion anymore. Therefore, I went to confront Johnny myself and true enough initially he completely ignored my argument. But, I persisted and reinforced my view about the loss in trust with some of my experience and eventually he capitulated. He change his paradigm and listened, eventually he apologized to the employees and from then, they were in a great working relationship. The key here is to not just be attentive but yo have to understand the argument of another as well. Otherwise, you will end up like Tiffany, being too infatuated with the mindset of others.
Last but not least, Level 5- empathic listening. This form involves looking into the world of another. You see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm and how they feel.
Researches have proven that 10% of our communications is represented by the content, 30% by the presentation of speech and 60% by our body language.
When you listen, you should not just focus on the words coming out from the speaker, it covers merely a 10% of the communication process. Never assume you know, never interrupt unnecessarily, thinking you know everything.
Listen throughout first and look at their eyes and body language. See how they are feeling about he point they are bringing across. Reassure them if you feel that they are not feeling secure about the topic. Some of the pointers which I have personally identified are trembling in their voices, random pausing and stuttering. In terms of body language, they usually move about, fidget. At times, they play with their fingernails and they shake their legs. These are some of the signs and gestures I have identified when I feel that the speaker is not confident about his point or do not feel secure saying it.
You can assure or affirm them by nodding slightly or smiling. Try not to say I can understand as that might come off as being frivolous. You can bring across some points of your which you feel relates to their points. Try not to conflict their views straight away or they might not continue with their own opinions. The key is to listen and understand.
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