Criticisms

Do you actually believe this? Criticisms are actually results of insecurity? At times, we are constantly griping about how people are so stupid and ignorant. How can they not know this? To better illustrate this idea, I will put forward a scenario below.




One day, Chris and Tom were having a conversation.



Chris: So Tom, do you think “white spaces” are going to improve our accessibility to the internet globally in the future?



Tom: I’m sorry? What are white spaces?



Christ: Are you kidding me? How can you not know white spaces? Are you actually living under a rock or something? You seriously need to do more reading up.



Tom: Oh okay.

From the above scenario, one flagrant point is that till the end, Chris did not answer Tom’s enquiry about “white spaces”. Rather than talking more about “white spaces”, it almost seems as if Chris was merely showing off to Tom that he knows about it and Tom does not. He wants to prove that he is superior in knowledge as compared to Tom, and knowing more than Tom puts him at ease. Once comfortable, he gets off the topic because he feels good now. The point is, Chris is actually insecure about himself, this point is subtle but many of us commit this mistake time and again.



Another relevant example is the one shown below.



John: Hey Andrew, long time no see, so how’s life?



Andrew: Great man! I’m having so much fun nowadays and living my life to the fullest. How about you John?



John: That’s nice to hear. Yeah, I’m doing fine, life’s pretty boring for me. By the way, which faculty are you entering?



Andrew: Oh, I’m going to the arts faculty.



John: Wow, impressive, so are you going to be some journalist or artist or some sort? That definitely sounds fun man! For me, I’m going to Medicine, it’s going to be dead boring, how I wish I can go into the arts as well.



The above conversation might sounds typical as compared to the ones we had. But this is what insecurity is all about. Being jealous of Andrew’s life, John is trying to bring himself up by bringing up topics that are favourable to him, topics that can possibly accentuate his greatness so that he does not seems boring in front of Andrew. It might even comes across as being rude at times but we, men, are so used to doing this without being fully conscious of it.



The above point is actually related to the point about exploiting other people’s weaknesses to reinforce one’s strength. We do this because we are not sure whether we are really good or not. Whenever we feel so insecure about ourselves, we have the propensity to criticise others to make us feel relieved. However, criticisms are de facto worst than the conduct which we are trying to correct. In layman terms, we, in person, are actually worse off than the person in many ways. But by criticising him, we delude ourselves.

So the point is, rather than mocking others about how ignorant they are or how dumb they can possibly get, why not take up the role of enlightening the rest, sharing your knowledge with them in a positive manner. What’s the point of criticising them when they fail to answer your question when you can answer your own question and at the same time, teach your peers too? Why do you need to highlight someone’s weakness to reinforce your own strengths when you already know it’s in you? You simply have to have faith and believe in your own aptitudes and abilities. Trust yourself and let go of that insecurity in you.




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